New Delhi: A high intensity protest broke out on the streets of Delhi yet again today. The protestors demanded usage of water canons against the entire mob but the Police refused to do so. “We never get what we want, now that we are inviting water canons, the Police is denying”, said the angry protestors. Some of them resorted to dance steps of legendary actor Dharmendra to torture and instigate the Cops to use the canons. However all they got were Chamats (local Delhi slaps).
When asked the reason of protesting, they accused the Delhi Police of showing bias from one protest to another. “We all know when BJP or Congress workers protests, they are drenched with water from the canons, which means they get a free bath without paying any water bills. On the other hand, when the Aam Aadmi protests, the Police resorts to all other tactics. Why can we not have the water park fun on the roads just as the politicians?” Some people had started to bring soaps, shampoos, conditioners and even utensils with Vim bars from their homes. Others reached the protests to wash off their Mehendi and other jazzy hair colours but to their dismay, the indifferent Delhi Police ruined the plans.
Analysts have termed the spontaneous protests as a part of side effects of global warming. “Delhi is getting hotter by every passing year, these people just want to cool themselves at the expense of the govt”, said the officer at the meteorological department.
The protestors demanded a uniform law for everybody. “Even we want free baths, why is it only bestowed upon the Political protests?” asked Raju who came all the way from drought state of Maharashtra. Congress ally NCP’s Ajit Pawar has however suggested to urinate in the water tanks. CP Neeraj Kumar has welcomed the suggestion and added beforehand if there are any controversies later, he will not resign.
Meanwhile, someone known as Digvijay Singh has blamed the entire protests on RSS. He said that this culture of taking a bath was brought in by the RSS and it is not necessary to bath everyday. “I bath once in a month”, he says, “do you think my personality reduces any less? Infact, my opponents dont even dare to touch me”.
The Govt for the first time in history is silent. The spokespersons are using only the MMS language to talk to the media. Efforts are on to intercept the same. Even more surprisingly, there has been no response by the PMO taking into account how closely they are in touch with the common man on every issue. The opposition is all set to block parliament. Sources reveal that this saves them to come out in the heat and enjoy at home in their bath tubs.